I really hate the thought that some writers are judging their entire lives on whether or not they get their work published, as if that prospect were the only thing stopping them from wilting away into nothingness.
Much has been said about the depression that writers can fall into; the pressure that "the unpublished" place on themselves is terrible, a wretched thing that can destroy many wonderful people. I have seen this. I have met the woman who walked into the ocean because her writing was "going nowhere", because she thought she would never be good enough. Hell, she had so much else to celebrate in so many other areas of her life that she always seemed to underestimate. Her writing was also terrific. She just gave herself too much of a hard time. The beautiful children she produced are far more of an achievement than any book on any shelf. It's a shame she wouldn't believe that.
Ambition is a very dangerous thing, and when that's mixed in with the spice of a fickle industry the mixture can be explosive. I know this feeling. Journalism is just as dizzying. I learnt to contain things. The spotlight needs to shine on ALL parts of one's life.
It's easier said than done, but unpublished writers, I believe, mustn't treat their manuscripts as the "be all and end all". There is so much else going on. Perspective. Perspective. Perspective. Write, write and write some more but don't think it's the only golden key to satisfaction. Ask any published author. Is there a sudden dose of something that sorts out their lives? I know plenty of miserable published writers. It wasn't the medicine. They often envy those on the "unpublished side" who have wonderful relationships, who have happy homes, who don't go to bed uptight, who don't worry so much and analyse everything that goes on around them, who don't cut themselves off from the world with their inner torment.
The writer Samuel Johnson once said: "To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition." How can that relate to your situation?
When you start slapping yourself around because it's been too long that your words have not been in front of the masses, be satisfied by sharing them with just a few, then take a look at the rest of your life where there have already been more solid successes: children, gardens, friends, relationships, money-earning jobs, learning, good health, etc. Always keep things local, close to home, close to the heart. If it goes bigger on its own, then it's even more important to keep things local. If you become famous and it's huge, then you will need to force yourself to keep everything absolutely 100 percent LOCAL.
Getting a book into print would be nice, yes, but let's not blow up a whole planet just because one part of it doesn't yet have a flag to fly. I know a man who is always introduced by his colleagues, family and friends as "someone who failed to get a publisher for a book he spent 20 years working on". Gosh, what an introduction! I made a real effort to find out all the other wonderful things he did. He was a gem. Who cares about the book? He learnt in the end how to laugh about it. I do not want his unfortunate tag to be the one that someone staples to my shirt!
I will of course update people in my own writing circles on how my projects are going - yes, people on this blog are included in that - but I don't plan on telling every Tom, Donald and Harriet about my writing ambition, as though that's all there is running through my veins and that's what they should judge my whole life on. That little question that keeps coming back at us is a killer: so how is your writing coming along (meaning why haven't you been published yet?) or what's happening with the book (they haven't seen it on the shelves)?
I just want to get on with this whole living thing - and part of that is the writing. Enough of the running commentaries and painful updates, which only add more pressure. I am writing. The writing is coming along well. Everything else is too. Life is a beach. Did you know I paint? Did you know I also play the piano? Did you know that I've learnt to speak and write French? My name has already been published and broadcast around the world. Big deal. That's not what this whole creative thing is about. There. Enough said. There's no time to get blue about writing. There's too much fun to be had!